Saturday, February 21, 2009



I woke up this morning, and I realized I haven’t gotten out of bed in three weeks. It’s just been easier now with all the things Noel’s surrounded me with to be comfortable. Noel’s been preparing for this for months. We’ve been getting all this equipment delivered to the apartment so he would be ready.

I think I’ve been so focused on the details of how we were going to get to 1000 pounds it never really occurred to me that at some point I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed any more. I mean, we talked about it, but it never seemed real. That’s probably because it happens so gradually. It’s not like you wake up one morning and say “Welp, today I can’t get out of bed anymore.” It’s more like, “Hmm. I’ve not walked in three weeks. I guess that’s it. I’m never going to walk again.

It’s okay because I’ve got a great guy to take care of me. I’ve never met a man who’s more super duper than Noel. He’s so kind, attentive, smart, caring, and sexy. I love how he always let’s me know he’s there for me. We always knew it would be challenging, but we can meet any challenge as long as we’re together. I believe that.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Big Beauty

By Noel Spencer
Here are some beautiful old photos and illustrations I love.

Beautiful Bertha.

A vintage tapestry. Wonderful.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sofa Sleeping

By Noel Spencer

Jesse sleeps on sofa
With late night movie
Flickering on face
Shadows play
Heavy breathing
Beautiful bigness
In my heart

It is becoming more difficult for Jesse to move. Sometimes, she stays out of the bed for long runs. She sleeps on the sofa for two or three nights at a time because it is so difficult for her to walk back to the bedroom. I enjoy when she stays in the living room because that means we are sort of in the same room. Only an arch separates our living room and kitchen. She can watch me cook, and I can pop over to her on the sofa to have her taste dishes as I make them. It is kind of perfect.

This is not going to last much longer. Pretty soon she will go back into bed, and she will stay in the bedroom. I thought about putting a little hot plate in the bedroom, but that seems a little over the top. It will probably be good for us to have some space from each other. Usually, I sleep next to Jesse on a cot, or I’ll crash on the twin bed in my office. It just depends on how much work I have to do. Often, when I’m editing or I’ve got a job, it is just easier to sleep where I’m working.