I Found Out Where Jesse Is

Judith Took Her

The Lift

By Noel Spencer

For a while now we’ve been pushing our luck with the lift I use when I move Jesse to change the sheets.

 

Next week I’m going to go out to New Jersey and pick up the new lift, but this time we’re going to get the deluxe model.

Feast your eyes on the WOK Patient Lift and Transfer.  It’s going to cost a bit more than we wanted to spend, but my love is worth it. Wish me luck getting it back to the city!

OMFG IT’S HOT!

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

The air conditioner blew. My air conditioner. It is so frigging hot. Yesterday it was 88 degrees, and today it is suppose to hit 90. I don’t know if I can stand it. I can barely sleep, I’m so hot. The sweat is just dripping off me.

Noel has been a sweetheart, as per usual. He’s brought in a cool bowl of water and sponged me all over to cool me off twice already today, and it’s not even noon. He put all the fans we have in the house onto me, and he’s out now heading into P.C. Richard and Son to get me a new air conditioner. I hope he gets back soon. I can stand it when he’s gone for too long.

I think if I had to choose, I’d prefer it to be too cold than too hot. At least, when it’s too cold, Noel will just pile me up with covers and hot water bottles. And he cuddles with me. I love it when he cuddles with me. He’s like my own little bed warmer.

When it’s as excruciatingly hot as I am right now, all you can do is take off as many clothes as you can, but once you’re naked, you’re naked. You can’t take off any more layers than that.

Noel says he doesn’t mind when it’s hot, of course. He gets to see me laying around in the altogether all day long. He adores feeding me ice cream and popsicles and all sorts of cold treats. That’s tops. I LOVE licking the popsicle and putting it all over my body. Cools me right now. Unfortunately, it heats Noel right up, and we’re right back where we started:

Sweaty and hot.

Though, I do find my self-feeling much happier than before our feeding….

Oh! Noel just returned with the new A/C! Super duper! Maybe I’ll write more after I’ve had a chance to let my brain cool down.

Unwelcome Visitors

We're All in this Together

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

I just discovered this scientist, Amber Case.

She is a cyborg anthropologist. Wacky, huh? She talks about how we’re living two lives. Our real lives and our second lives. Now you get up in the morning, and you get ready and start your day, then you get on line and you start your day. You clean yourself up and you show people you’re ready.

When I blog, I see my thoughts. I see others intertwine with my thoughts. We meld together in a super beautiful way. Even when people push back or put down. Even when people are hateful. I know that there are people out there like me. No one is exactly like you, but you can always find someone who gets you. And if they don’t get you, you should move on. People who don’t accept you for you aren’t worth your time.

Those of you who come here to read our posts, watch our videos, and share your thoughts are some of the best people in the world. That’s because you get us. Some of you aren’t even into what we’re doing, but you get us. You get that we’re us. You’re you.

We’re all people.

She's No Angel

VLOGGING!

It's My Birthday!

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer
 

O…M…G…!! Thank you so much to everyone who has sent so many presents. How cool are you. Noel went to the post office yesterday, and there was a tin FILLED with maple fudge!  That's totes my fave!

 There was also a box PACKED with muffins, cupcakes and donuts. It was such a pleasant surprise when he came home yesterday, but today there was even more. I got loads of candy, cookies, all sorts of baked goods. Someone even sent a cake! It really was too much. 

Sometimes I miss getting out to see people, but then I realize how many people out there read this blog and care about us. It’s really amazing. The fact that people I barely know and in most cases have never met in person send me such thoughtful, loving presents for lil ole me… Gosh, I just can’t express how full it makes me feel.

Speaking of full, last night Noel fed me each piece of fudge until my tummy couldn’t hold any more. We got romantic and celebrated my birthday at midnight…

It was fabulous!

There’s no better gift than getting food to play with. I love playing with my food. That’s what I call a birthday present.

Shout out to the sweet thangs who sent the sweet thangs: Max, Peter, George, Saul, Michele, José, Suzanne, Fitz, Dot, Dave, Bruce and Alex

I hope there’s more where this came from! Mwwwwah! 

Machine Me

By Noel Spencer

We told you we were going to do it, and today is the day we debut our new video with our made on our new video camera.

The link to the new video MACHINE ME is in the side bar. Have you seen the documentary SUPERSIZE ME? This is our answer to it. Enjoy.

Click HERE to buy MACHINE ME! ONLY $30!

Oh, yeah, and for those of you who don’t know – it’s Jesse’s birthday on June 14^th. Give her some birthday love next week!

I LOVE Fat Fashion!

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

Check out this NAAFA Fashion show in Los Angeles from last year. It looks like so much FUN!

I hear that they do one every year as part of their national convention. They probably wouldn't welcome me, considering their stance on feederism.

I use to go to BBW events like this all the time. Two totally fun parties were DIVAS and REWIND. It was so much fun to meet up with other ladies I can chat with, relate to, and just have a good old time without people gawking at us, or worse, making comments like that a-hole did on our wedding night. Being inside all the time at least keeps the a-holes away, but I don’t get to celebrate with friends as much. I guess you can’t have everything.

There are so many wonderful clothing companies that cater to big girls, like me. Here are just a couple:

http://www.redressnyc.com

LOVE THE FLOW!

http://www.biggirlsunited.com/store.html

HOT LITTLE BLACK DRESS!!!

http://www.aboutcurves.com/

FOR SOME NAUGHTINESS...

And, please, if anyone suggests Lane Bryant or Silhouettes to me ever again, I think I’ll SCREAM! They make fat clothes. They don’t make fashion for fat women. There’s a big diff.

OMG it’s been SOOO LOOONG since I’ve been shopping. I don’t remember the last time I got all dolled up and went out on the town. It was sometime last year. Probably Halloween. I do miss it, but sometimes you have to give up one thing to do something else you truly want. Noel and our goal are the most important things in my life, and I can’t wait till we hit 1000 pounds.

In the mean time, if any of you get some fun new clothes from either of the links above, send me a pic. I’ll just live vicariously through you all!

Survey Says…

By Noel Spencer

Hello all, I just want to thank you all for your support. Jesse’s last post summed up my feelings very well, and I didn’t chime in because I felt she covered it. She’s much better at expressing her feelings than I am, but please know I sincerely appreciate your generosity.

Jesse asked you for suggestions for our next video, and you all had so many great ideas about what the next video should be, and to thank you all we are making a video from suggested by our friend, Zach. He wanted a force-feeding video that implements a machine. So, I did it. I built a feeding machine, and we’re making new video “Machine Me”. We are going to use it every day for 30 days and see how much weight Jesse can gain. It will be a very interesting experiment, and I cannot wait to discover how many pounds she puts on.

Little Help from Our Friends

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! OMG, seriously?! You all are so fantastic. Over the past couple weeks there has been a super duper outpouring of love and support from the community. Obviously, you want to see me on camera again.

In 18 days, we have received so many donations. You raised over $3000.00 to the camera fund! Noel can buy the camera, AND we have enough money for a couple weeks of groceries. This means so much, and your love is FELT!

Special thanks goes out to our friend Marcus in Seattle who spearheaded this impromptu fundraiser. As many of you know, Marcus emailed us after Noel announced the camera died and said he wanted to help us raise money to buy the new video recorder. He sent emails to his list of feeders and fatties, and low and behold! We have some fans!

I received some very lovely emails from many of you who have been quietly watching our vids, and I just want to thank you with all my heart! Thanks for your sweet presents. They’re super exciting and adorable. I especially love the chocolates and muffin baskets – keep those coming!

Noel ordered the new camera, and it should be here any day. We’ll be back to video making very soon. And, since you’ve all been so extra super sweet, we’re taking requests. I won’t take off my clothes, but there are a lot of other things we LOVE to do. Food play? Jiggling? Force-feeding? What’s your pleasure, my people?

Poll in the right sidebar. Vote for your fave!!

A Letter from Marcus

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

The strangest thing happened. On Wednesday, Noel shared here that our HD camera he uses to shoot our videos crapped out on us and we don’t have the money to buy a new camera.

Check this out – our friend, Marcus, wrote this awesome letter and sent it to all the feeders, feedees, and SSBBW lovers he knows.

“Dear friend,

Yesterday two pillars of our community revealed a video camera they use to entertain and excite us quit working. They barely have enough money to continue their impressive life’s journey.

Jesse and Noel Spencer have been working for the past two years to be one of the few people to pass that elusive goal of becoming half a ton. This is a very difficult feat, no doubt, and the tool that helps raise money to achieve this goal is now gone.

As a friend of Jesse and Noel, I would like to plea with you, if you can support this couple in continuing their journey, buy a video. If you have a video, buy another one – or just use PayPal to donate to the Spencers. I have discussed this with them, and they have created a special button to donate to their cause. I just donated $300.00.

Be a part of recording history.

Sincerely,

Marcus”

OMG. Have you ever read anything sweeter? I’m not one to self promote or beg for money, but look at it as a little investment. If you help us, we’ll make some more videos for you. As a little incentive, if you donate $30 or more ($30 is the regular price cost of one of our DVDs), we’ll send you our next video. So, it’s like pre-paying for your video. Cool?

Thanks so much, again, to Marcus for his help, and we hope you can help out, too!

Much love…

Camera Death

By Noel Spencer

So, I have some bad news. I can’t make any more feeding videos. My camera died, and I don’t have the money to buy a new one. It’s causing me great grief because videos are a big source of income for us. This means we will need to cut back on the amount of feeding that we do, which will, in turn, keep us from reaching our goal as quickly.

At this point, I am going to have to take on extra freelance design projects to make ends meet and to raise the money for a new camera. I’ve been using the Sony Ultra Compact Pro HXR-MC50U 64GB Hard Drive HD Camcorder, but it costs around $1500.

We just don’t have the money right now. It’s a hurdle, but not something that we can’t overcome. Hopefully, we’ll be back with a new HD video sooner than later!

Stuffies

By Noel Spencer

There’s some great Feederism blogs out there. I really love Molly Ren’s “Stuffies” blog. She’s got a great, fun take on how to go about it, and she’s building a really strong community. Check her out, if you don’t already know about her.

Channel Surfing

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

Sometimes it’s hard being in the bed all the time. But Noel knows how to make me feel comfortable. He is the only man to ever really get me. He knows I like to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and The Amazing Race on Sundays at eight. He even got me two TVs with two remotes. I know, they got those new fangled TVs, and you can watch two shows at once. I get the main show on the screen and a little box in the corner with the second one going. But that would hurt my eyes. It was also too expensive to be getting headaches over! So Noel went out and got me a second TV. Cost half what those fancy ones do. I can have one clicker in my right hand and one in my left hand. I can watch two shows at once. Noel also got me the DVR, so I could time delay my shows. I start both shows at the same time, but pause one of them. I know I can record one and watch it later. Sometimes I do that. But watching two TVs at once is an art. When one goes to commercial, you pause it, and start the second. By the time you finish the teaser for the second show, the first is back from commercial. Pause #2 again, and so forth and so on. I give whole new meaning to the term “channel surfing.”

Noel makes my room feel like a sanctuary. Like we worship here. It's a sacred little place for only us. We kick back, relax and watch a few shows in one night. If I'm not on the internet writing something for you to read, I'm keeping up with my shows. I liked that show Heroes. It was great when they were all discovering new powers they got. There's this one lady, skinny little *itch, she's got two personalities. One is good, and one is bad. The bad one has super human strength. I can relate to her. Not that I have super human strength, but I do feel like I have two sides to my personality. I feel like I’m two different people. There’s how most people see me. Big. Well, too big. But, when I'm on line, chatting with all of you. I feel sexy and beautiful. I feel like that skinny *itch on that show. Unstoppable. Like I could take on the world.

Courtesy The Big Beautiful Wonder Woman Blog
Artist: DERRICK FISH


What makes you feel like you could take on the world?

Bedbound

BY JESSE MARIE SCOTT SPENCER

I woke up this morning, and I realized I haven’t gotten out of bed in three weeks. It’s just been easier now with all the things Noel’s surrounded me with to be comfortable. Noel’s been preparing for this for months. We’ve been getting all this equipment delivered to the apartment so he would be ready.

I think I’ve been so focused on the details of how we were going to get to 1000 pounds it never really occurred to me that at some point I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed any more. I mean, we talked about it, but it never seemed real. That’s probably because it happens so gradually. It’s not like you wake up one morning and say “Welp, today I can’t get out of bed anymore.” It’s more like, “Hmm. I’ve not walked in three weeks. I guess that’s it. I’m never going to walk again.

It’s okay because I’ve got a great guy to take care of me. I’ve never met a man who’s more super duper than Noel. He’s so kind, attentive, smart, caring, and sexy. I love how he always let’s me know he’s there for me. We always knew it would be challenging, but we can meet any challenge as long as we’re together. I believe that.

Big Beauty

By Noel Spencer

Here are some beautiful old photos and illustrations I love.

Beautiful Bertha.

A vintage tapestry. Wonderful.

This one is by Diane Arbus (1923-1971)

Sofa Sleeping

By Noel Spencer

Jesse sleeps on sofa

With late night movie
Flickering on face

Shadows play
Heavy breathing
Beautiful bigness

In my heart

It is becoming more difficult for Jesse to move. Sometimes, she stays out of the bed for long runs. She sleeps on the sofa for two or three nights at a time because it is so difficult for her to walk back to the bedroom. I enjoy when she stays in the living room because that means we are sort of in the same room. Only an arch separates our living room and kitchen. She can watch me cook, and I can pop over to her on the sofa to have her taste dishes as I make them. It is kind of perfect.

This is not going to last much longer. Pretty soon she will go back into bed, and she will stay in the bedroom. I thought about putting a little hot plate in the bedroom, but that seems a little over the top. It will probably be good for us to have some space from each other. Usually, I sleep next to Jesse on a cot, or I’ll crash on the twin bed in my office. It just depends on how much work I have to do. Often, when I’m editing or I’ve got a job, it is just easier to sleep where I’m working. 

 

Finding Your Other Half

By Jesse Marie Scott Spencer

You know what my favorite thing about Noel is? He relishes life. He celebrates it and he shares that with me. I never thought I'd get married let alone find someone who encourages me to live life to it's fullest. He tells me I have a zest for life. I suppose I do. I think that's why me and Noel fit so well together. We just "get" each other. I know that might seem silly, but we do. It's not often you see two people come together like us to achieve so many amazing things together.

Sometimes, I think of all the great people who are out there, reading this blog, watching our videos, and I pray all of you find someone who "gets" you. It's such a lucky thing we have. I wish all people could find it. When you find your other half, everything seems just that much easier. You have someone you can count on. And that stands for a lot.

A Milestone

By Noel Spencer

Jesse is 500 lbs. I can’t believe it. We are half way there. Technically, if you count from the day we met back two years ago, when she was 290 lbs., we’re 30% of the way there. We have 2/3 of the way left.

Right now, she’s gaining 15.5 lbs per month. I’d like to increase that if we can. There are certain ways to do this. I have heard antihistamines can increase weight gain.

I am going to suggest it to Jesse. If she says no, then we won’t do it. As long as we get there, it doesn’t matter when we get there. (But, it would be fun to get there sooner!)

Jesse is such a special person. She so alive and definitely the most adventurous woman I have ever met. She is always so ready to go where only a few have gone before. She is like an explorer charting a new map. It is so exciting when people want to push boundaries and become achieve a potential they know is deep inside them. Jesse embodies that strength.

I am so lucky.

Happy New Year!

Jesse – My New Year’s resolution is to exercise less and gain more weight!

Noel – My New Year’s resolution is to add ten new dishes to my repertoire so Jesse can gain more weight and exercise less!

What’s your New Year’s resolution?

HAPPY 2009!